The Bad Boy Complex

Every boy wants a good girl to be bad just for him.

Every girl wants a bad boy to be good just for her.

Well, I’m not a fucking little girl anymore so let’s get this shit over with.  The Bad Boy Complex has got to go. Every girl has caught the bad boy bug at some point in her life. This could be a passing phase you’ve grown out of or if you’re like me, you can’t seem to build up enough white T-Cells to be immune to these mother fuckers.

Ah, the bad boys. These invasive creatures are usually easy to spot and they have grown in numbers considerably ever since I hit the legal drinking age. Habitats: You can find these fuckers in bars, clubs, gyms, college campuses across the US, these douches are practically everywhere.  Though they come in so many different varieties, it might seem like they’re not the same, I assure you they are. You can have the stoner bad boy who majors in bong making in his parent’s basement and minors in “creative” culinary art. There is the musician bad boy. With him you can get drunk and see his totally awesome band play, along with the 5 other groupies he promised he’d write a song for. You got the VIP bad boy. You can skip the lines at the busiest hot spots, he got the bottle service lined up, but the bartenders and bouncers know you’re just the flavor of the week to him. There are plenty of  more types I can dissect for you but you get the picture.

I bet there are faces flashing through your mind of all the bad boys you’ve dealt with and they all have one very important thing in common, they do not give a flying fuck about you. Ouch! Too harsh? Let me try again, THEY DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU & YOU BEING THE PERFECT WOMAN IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE THAT! I can say this to you because I wish someone would’ve said this to me, straight up, no bullshit, no sugar coating to protect my feelings. He’s already hurting your feelings by not calling, not texting, not caring, flirting with other women, fucking other women, and the list can go on and on. He’s already fucking hurting you so I don’t mind hurting you a teensy bit if it can ultimately can help you.

I know, I know, bad boys are fun. As women we love projects, my Pinterest pin count is through the roof. He is an undeniable, sexy, wild, and irresistible man that you want to tame. But at some point deep down you know you can’t make him love you or make him change his ways. Then, you start to think “maybe I can have sex like a guy”. Bitch, you can’t. You rationalize all the excuses and over think these stupid fucking “signs” and then rearrange them so that he actually loves you but is afraid of being hurt or something, blah blah blah! That “afraid of a commitment” or “I’m not ready” bullshit just means he doesn’t want to be committed to you, that he’s not ready because he doesn’t want to be ready with you. Haven’t you been through or know a girl that got fed that bullshit and then the dude ended up being in a relationship with someone else shortly after?

I don’t want to brag but for a young woman, I have my shit together. I’m sure you do too. Don’t lose your confidence in yourself because you couldn’t get the guy you wanted (happened to me). Don’t take his inability to change for you as a personal attack on who you are as an individual (felt that shit too), don’t ever fucking change or try to be someone you think he will finally fall for. There are men out there (good men, not bad boys) that want to love someone like you, exactly the way you are. If you start changing for a dickhead who doesn’t deserve you, how are those guys ever going to find you? More importantly, if you “tame” him and he leaves (which he probably will), you’re going to be torn apart and you’ll have to find your identity again. There is nothing wrong with who you are. A bad boy can’t appreciate or love a real woman, he’s too short sighted/selfish and that’s alright. It’ll start out fun and it’s exciting but he will never give you what you want or need. Ladies, right now, let’s steal a page from the bad boy’s manual and be selfish. Let’s put our adventures, our needs, our passions and pleasures at the top of our list and be selfish. Can we please make a vow to all be bad ass bitches!? I think if we can do that, we’ll come to a pretty positive realization:

Bad Boys? Aint nobody got time for that.

3 thoughts on “The Bad Boy Complex

  1. LOL. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I think part of the fascination with bad boys as well, is admiration. Bad boys are usually spontaneous, live life in the moment, and are carefree. You could look at it as a way of being “free”. People who have their shit together are too much of a control freak to live that freely, because we are hyper-aware of the consequences and are too afraid to be out of control. As least, I know that I am. Another part of the fascination with bad boys, I think tends to be the dreaded “I want to fix him” obsession. After a while, when you have had your fun with him, you realize, “Oh, wait a minute… he’s kind of a loser. But maybe I can help him change!” And that’s where it all goes downhill.

    • I agree with that spontaneous lifestyle observation. I think I want to be more free and less of a control freak lol and I am totally guilty of trying to fix a bad boy. After being burned I just want to fix myself and my complex.

      Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to respond to it. :) I really appreciate it.

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